Nine years ago today I became a mother for the first time with the birth of my precious Logan. Little did I know that day that I would only spend 6 years, nine months with her on this earth. I'm praising God today that because of what His Son did for us on the cross, I know I will get to be with her in eternity. Oh, how we miss her, everything about her, from her amazing smile, contagious giggle, and love for Jesus and life. It's hard to imagine her as a nine year old. I often look at her friends that are now nine and just imagine her like they are now. Tori is now the same age Logan was when she went to heaven. They definitely have similarities, yet so many differences. Sometimes I try to picture the two of them playing together, giggling away as they dance around the house. Brae is now 4, so the two of them are the age of Logan and Tori at the time of Logan's home going. Watching Tori and Brae play now is like watching Tori and Logan play just in reverse time (hope that makes sense). It's so cute how Brae and Tori think of Logan's birthday. Tori asked me the other day, "Mommy, how old is Logan?" I said, "Well she would be 8." and she replied, "oh, ok, so she will be nine on her birthday." as if she is continuing to age in heaven. For now we don't need to clarify all of that for her. Then when discussing what we should do as a family for Logan's birthday, Tori said, "Why don't we let Logan decide what she wants to do, since it's her birthday?" I replied, "that would be nice, but Logan can't tell us what she wants to do, but really I'm pretty sure she has all she wants being with Jesus." Tori or Brae then said, "Yup, that's all she has with her for her party, Jesus, Papou (her grandfather), and baby Reese (our friends precious girl in heaven too) with her for her birthday. I then reminded them that there are lots of other people in heaven that most likely will be with her too! Oh, to have that child like view!
I've probably said this before, but it's weird to think we will just always remember her as our little Logan at six years of age. Tori will be 7 in August and eventually, Lord willing, we will get passed that age with Brae. Life will go on, yet our memories of our precious blessing of six years with her will always be there. Today we are just relaxing at home for the day and then we will go to one of Logan's favorite restaurants to celebrate her birthday and the blessing she was and is in our life. She love Panda Express and Soup Plantation, so we choose Soup Plantation. I know it's nothing glamorous, but it was definitely one of her favs!
We love you and miss you sweetie, yet long for the day we can be reunited with our you and our Savior! Happy Birthday!
